Musings on Human Nature and 4th IUI

          Finally the 4th IUI also got over yesterday. Now starts the miserable two week wait.

          I had to take an injection on the day before the IUI and since this medicine had to be kept refrigerated I didn't buy it from the hospital. Instead I got it from a pharmacy in my town. Then I went to three different labs to get the injection taken. But all of them sent me away. I was on the verge of tears as it was nearing 5'o clock and the medicine had to be taken at exactly five pm. As a last resort I went to the lab farthest from the town. I reached there exactly 5 minutes before 5'o clock and when i told them about the injection, the girl behind the counter said she'll ask her superiors about it since they usually don't take injections there. I waited praying to all Gods and i was ready to break down and cry if they said they wouldn't do it. But to my relief they were willing to do the injection. They didn't even take any payment from me since they usually didn't do injections there. They did it for me only because of the special situation. So I made a small donation to their charity club. When I left the technicians were very pleasant to me and made me promise that I'll tell them the good news if the IUI is successful. After the rejection at the first three labs, the people at this lab felt like angels to me. I wish all the good in this world to them. I wish I had the good fortune to visit them with sweets once I get my greatest wish granted.

Reception room of the Infertility Treatment Centre which I currently attend. The doll I hate is on the left side.

          The thing that I hate most about the IF treatment centre which I currently attend is the life size baby doll they have in their reception. I always feel an urge to smash it whenever I lay my eyes on it. It reminds me of my handicap in a most painful way and I feel like the hospital is trying to do some emotional blackmailing on all the patients who visit them using this doll. Does anybody agree with me or is it my sick mind conjuring up things out of my hatred towards my condition?

          This time also the Doctor yelled and scolded me when I cried out in pain during the process. I remember feeling depressed and thinking she ought to say relaxing things to me instead of shouting at me. I wish I could go back to my first doctor. He was infinitely better than the current one and while he did the first IUI on me he was so relaxed and talked to me soothingly during the process. Even though I felt some pain, it was really bearable since I could feel he was being careful. But this woman makes me feel like she is out to cut out my innards instead of treating me. Unfortunately, after the failure of my first IUI, the doctor said there is no use of continuing with IUIs and recommended me to another hospital for IVF. But since that hospital is not affordable to me I had to come to the hospital which I'm currently attending. Wish these people will come to senses and treat me in a more humane way.. :(